Life wasn’t always as good like that; reality was harsh. I was a young musician in my school and I used to practice under the school’s orchestra which was composed mainly of western instruments such as the flute, clarinet, trumpet, well you get the point. I’ve always loved music and my childhood dream was always to one day become a famous musician, so I joined the orchestra the first year I was enrolled into the school.
Being the only Asian kid in the whole orchestra wasn’t as awkward as I thought at the beginning, right until we were asked to choose our desired instrument that we intended on learning, being the kid who loved strings, I chose the violin. The violin was a string type instrument that looked pretty much like a miniature cello, and even though my family said it was for girls, what did I care? It was the sole thing that I loved.
I practiced very hard to master the skills of my instrument however I could never really get the notes right, but it didn’t matter because I believed that “as long as you keep working on it, one day you’ll succeed”, which was foolish of me.
It didn’t matter how hard I tried or how long I practiced I still couldn’t get them right and my tutor was beginning to feel frustrated as everyone else had advanced into the next level, whereas I was still a beginner. Judging by the look on his face, I could see the impatience in his eyes bit he was a good teacher, he stayed with me after school to give me extra lessons just to help me catch up to the rest of the group, however I didn’t improve. I was pierced with disappointment and sorrow when my tutor revealled to my mother that I had no music talent at all and that I didn’t belong here with them. He advised her to send me to maybe book clubs instead. Those words slowly crushed my fragile heart into a million pieces; I was shattered.
For the next few days, I refused to go to school or even to leave my room. I felt that I had no purpose in life anymore; I had nothing left in me. If dreams made up a person then what is a person without a dream? What was I supposed to do? Who was I supposed to be? I was lost.
I think my mother felt my despair as she offered to take me to have music lessons with private tutors, however it didn’t spark my interests anymore, and I was as dead as a zombie roaming streets in search of brains.
My search for my lost dream, my lost self didn’t end until my uncle came over from China. He was a musician himself and my mother thought that it’d be nice for him to come talk to me. My uncle wasn’t your typical musician who played the sax or the piano but rather he was the type who played exotic traditional Chinese instruments such as the Chinese Harp, Chinese Dulcimer and many others, he was the master of exotic instruments, During his visit, he had a show in the local community centre to showcase his talent with his main instrument, the Chinese Dulcimer which was a string instrument the size of a small table with 144 strings tied onto it; it was magnificent. Hence he offered to take me along as he thought that it might be interesting for me.
I sat in the front row with my family you support my uncle’s live performance in Melbourne. I must say, I wasn’t sure what might come out of this but I’m really glad that I took the chance to experience the euphoric melodies of the Chinese Dulcimer. The performance started with a classical song named “The High Green Mountains” which was a popular folk song back in the days. It sounded heavenly that I thought that I had fallen in love. For the first time in my life, I actually felt the music flowing through my blood, I’d never thought I’d see the day when I could live a song, cause at that moment I was on top of a green mountain.
The love bug had bitten me once again and I was on a prime time high; fully fuelled to embrace this new part of me. After the performance, I walked up to my uncle and shyly requested him to teach me, which he gladly did. It was hard at first but my uncle made sure I made progress. Learning the Chinese dulcimer was different from the violin, for some reason I felt more at ease with it and learning from someone who actually mastered the instrument but then again it might have also been because me and my uncle had a common mother tongue, which made it easier for me to relate to musical terms and skills. One thing for sure was that I had never felt at one with an instrument before in my life and I was thoroughly enjoying this experience. Finally, I felt that I once again belonged with music.
Its been 2 years since I started practicing the Chinese Dulcimer, since then I have improved tremendously and joined my uncle roaming the districts of Melbourne to perform, while still participating in a few orchestral concerts that have been a huge success. I owe it all to my uncle as he has made me feel that I belonged among the melodies of the tradition Chinese instruments and that’s who I have become to be.
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