Her name was Britney. She was the first and only girl to walk into my life, my first relationship, my first love. We met in college and she was my first lab-partner. We were both science enthusiasts and loved to watch dance performances by famous crews such as Quest crew and Poreotix. We would always be head down researching in the lab, while we’d be busy chattering about our experiences and interests during breaks, she was my missing puzzle piece. We’d known each for almost a year before I charged my courage to ask her out to our annual ball, which of course she gladly accepted; I was the happiest man alive just to hear that one word, “yes”. I could still remember her in her bright red dress accompanied by a stylish black handbag with heels of the matching color, she looked irresistibly gorgeous; one glance and I thought I had mistaken her for an angel from above. Ever since our last encounter at the ball, she was constantly on my mind like a love song on replay, she became my reason to dream.
It was a Friday night after the lab was empty that I confessed my feelings towards her with a red paper rose in my hands. I was so nervous that I asked if she liked frogs before I managed to roll those 3 words off my tongue. She stood there staring at me for a moment, with an expression that I had never seen before. My heart began to beat out of rhythm and I was beginning to regret this whole act and that it was a stupid decision to confess when she finally broke the silence with “I don’t really like frogs, but I do like you.” She replied, with a sweet smile across her face. I couldn’t believe my ears that I had to ask the stupidest question ever, “Really?” which made her smile turn into a tiny laugh. She held my hand and pulled me closer to her, she whispered into my ears, “I love you”. Our relationship started at the moment, the two of us, a 19 year old nerdy Asian guy with a 18 year old beautiful Aussie girl, it kind of felt like a parody of “The beauty and the beast”, but what did I care? I was on cloud nine!
We had many unforgettable moments throughout our relationship, we would hang out under the sun and enjoy each other’s company during the day and talk till we fell asleep on the phone at night. She was the apple to my pie, the sun that shone every morning, she was the one for me, and we were the perfect two. One night, we were lying on the grass in the park outside staring at the stars. She laid on my chest as we were talking about the story of our lives to each other. When she brought up the topic of family, she began telling me about how her family was Christian and how they would always go to church on Sunday mornings and asked if I would one day go to church with her as it was her family tradition. I was a free-thinker and thought that it was a great idea and agreed to go with her the following Sunday.
I reached home that night and told my parents about my decision to start going to Sunday masses at my girlfriend’s church; they were furious. My father strongly disapproved of my childish decision and started ranting about how the goddess “Guan Yin” was the only true god and that as Chinese people we should only believe in what our ancestors had set out for us, it was against our culture to do so. My mother was filled with grieve and said that I was influenced by my Aussie girlfriend and that she was the “devil” that had turned me into the person I am now. I was astonished to hear these words and refused to accept their opinion and stomped to my room, slamming the door behind me. What was their problem? I should be able to make my own decisions and choices, I’m old enough now!
I woke up the next day in the same room, but an empty room with just my bed in the middle of the bare room. I rubbed my eyes, trying to make sure that I had woken up from my dreams but to no avail I was still in a barren room. I walked out of my room into the living room, which seemed to be exactly the same as last night, however no one was at home. “Beeeep! Beeeep!” came from outside, I recognized the familiar text alert coming from my Samsung touch phone coming from the other side of the front door. My senses were on high alert this time as to what might be on the other side. I slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open. I couldn’t believe my eyes! All my personal belongings and even my school books were all trashed outside on the pavement with a note on my laptop which wrote, “If you want to go against our ancestors, they will punish you. If you choose to challenge them, then you are no longer apart of the “Chan” family.
I was lost for words. I looked up to find my dad staring at me from the garage door with his arms crossed, his expression was stone cold as he pointed towards the taxi that had been waiting by the roadside in front of our house. I tried to reason with him, but he stuck to his decision, it was either I break with my Aussie girlfriend and never see her again or I step out from this house and never have a family again. I was boiling with anger, how could he do this! I was going to grab my belongings into the taxi when my little sister came out from the house and asked me, “Brother, where are you going with all your stuff? Are you leaving me?” I felt my heart ache; there was nothing I could do. I didn’t have a job, I couldn’t survive on my own, I didn’t have anywhere to go, should I have gone to my girl friend’s place and asked them to take me in might have been a possible alternative but what was I to do from then? I decided to stay and thought that maybe the both of us could escape the differences between our cultures and traditions.
Hands over my head, I found myself wondering what else could go wrong. I sat in my room with my belongings lying scattered on my floor. I picked up my phone to call my girl and the moment she picked up I spilled my heart to her about what had just happened and told her that I didn’t want to go to church with her anymore. The line fell silent. “Is there something wrong?” I asked. “But, I believe in god, you don’t but I do! I think I need some time and space for awhile.” I could hear soft sniffs coming from the other end of the line, I knew she was upset but the events that followed were as I had expected.
Hands over my head, I found myself wondering what else could go wrong. I sat in my room with my belongings lying scattered on my floor. I picked up my phone to call my girl and the moment she picked up I spilled my heart to her about what had just happened and told her that I didn’t want to go to church with her anymore. The line fell silent. “Is there something wrong?” I asked. “But, I believe in god, you don’t but I do! I think I need some time and space for awhile.” I could hear soft sniffs coming from the other end of the line, I knew she was upset but the events that followed were as I had expected.
A few days later, she called me and asked me to meet her at the usual park outside her place. I arrived at the park and saw her sitting by herself on a bench underneath the tree where we had our first kiss. I walked over to give her a hug but she pushed me away. She stood up and handed me a note. It wrote “You’re a great guy Han, you’ve always been there for me, but I don’t think that our parents would approve of us any longer. We’re so close yet we’re seas apart, I’m sorry.” Tears flowed down my cheeks like waterfalls as I looked up from the small note. She stared at me with her teary eyes. We embraced each other in a hug, our very last hug. I held her tightly in my arms. I didn’t want to let go of the only person that mattered to me, but she gently pushed me away.
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